[ call or text Reim within! I was going to set up a voicemail inbox message but then I realized no one is ever going to hear it unless he’s unconscious or dead. it doesn’t matter if you call at 3am he’ll pick up. ]
...you are right. It is an extremely silly question.
[Yet she says it with a soft, affectionate laugh.]
I have said it before and yet I will say it again-- you are always welcome there. That space is yours too, anytime you wish it. And I want you to be there with me when you're able.
[She places both of her hands on the arm crossed in front of him and looks up at him.]
It was designed from the very beginning to undermine any attempts to work together for a peaceful resolution. Nonetheless we had no choice but to try. I did not like the risk-- but I knew deviation would not only affect my team, but undermine the faith that everyone was willing to place in us as a whole. I could have fought it... but I did not. I am equally at fault. I won't allow you to carry that burden alone.
[ Reim with everyone else: technically everyone shares some level of responsibility in this because everyone had the option and ability to make it not happen Reim with Sharon, specifically: ]
--Of course you're not at fault! This wasn't your choice!
I went--! And checked every vote! Just to make sure I forced this through! Knowing the whole time I was putting him at risk! If you had been the one to arrange it all, you never would have done that to him! I didn't want you to feel like this!
It is not as though it did not cross my mind to go against the plan you had set. Of course I hated it. But... I did not have a better solution to give. I could not even bring myself to say what I was truly feeling. Because "anyone but them" is not fair... it is not fair to anyone who has someone precious to them here.
I am just as guilty as anyone for what happened to them.
[ he knows she's saying this because she wants to share the burden. he knows that's what she's like. he should agree. normally he would. normally he would give her just about anything she wants and then some.
he can't do that.
but he can't just yell at her either. he wasn't really shouting before but the sense of pressure leaves his voice entirely, cracking. ]
[ something cracks. he draws in a sharp, tremulous breath- he hasn't dislodged her hands from his arm and still doesn't, but he fists his hands in his own clothes rather than reach out for her, even as he leans closer, curling over her ]
I'm sorry-- I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, Sharon, I didn't mean to-
[It is not-- but she knows he is trying. She disentangles her arms and wraps them around him; holding him.]
...I know you will. [...] But that is why I worry about you too.
[But they've both been foolish here, so she cannot say they are not still incredibly well suited to one another. And she is no less enamored with him for these faults.]
From now on we must simply give much greater care to what we are willing to do and what prices we are willing to pay.
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Re: Day 15
[It can wait.]
Re: Day 15
[ but since Sharon asked, he still says ]
May I stay with you tonight?
Re: Day 15
[Yet she says it with a soft, affectionate laugh.]
I have said it before and yet I will say it again-- you are always welcome there. That space is yours too, anytime you wish it. And I want you to be there with me when you're able.
Re: Day 15
... I put you through something terrible.
Re: Day 15
[She places both of her hands on the arm crossed in front of him and looks up at him.]
It was designed from the very beginning to undermine any attempts to work together for a peaceful resolution. Nonetheless we had no choice but to try. I did not like the risk-- but I knew deviation would not only affect my team, but undermine the faith that everyone was willing to place in us as a whole. I could have fought it... but I did not. I am equally at fault. I won't allow you to carry that burden alone.
Re: Day 15
Reim with Sharon, specifically: ]
--Of course you're not at fault! This wasn't your choice!
Re: Day 15
--what are you saying?! Of course I am!
Re: Day 15
Re: Day 15
I am just as guilty as anyone for what happened to them.
Re: Day 15
he can't do that.
but he can't just yell at her either. he wasn't really shouting before but the sense of pressure leaves his voice entirely, cracking. ]
I'm not going to blame you.
Re: Day 15
[Sharon is quiet for a long, painful moment.]
I still remember that day, even though it feels so long ago now. To hear Xerxes say he wanted to live...
[She squeezes her eyes shut.]
And to let him die again after that? I cannot... forgive myself for that.
Re: Day 15
I'm sorry-- I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, Sharon, I didn't mean to-
Re: Day 15
...don't... don't carry this on you own. I just... need you-- with me. Together. We cannot do this on our own.
Re: Day 15
I'll do anything for you.
[ this also isn't really something he thinks she wants to hear right now but can't help himself ]
Re: Day 15
...I know you will. [...] But that is why I worry about you too.
[But they've both been foolish here, so she cannot say they are not still incredibly well suited to one another. And she is no less enamored with him for these faults.]
From now on we must simply give much greater care to what we are willing to do and what prices we are willing to pay.
Re: Day 15
[ takes in a long, shaky breath, and lets it out again ]
Yes, I agree.